Vis Maior

This has been a total lifesaver. It allows me to prop my sheet music against the wheel, allowing me to play the guitar with both hands while driving.

My first thought was like everybody else's: Hey now i can multitask while driving. The side effect of running down all manner of creatures didn't bother me in the least. I grew up on Death Race 2000 after all. (I've always used the Modified Stableford point system by the way--much easier to track your tally without a scorecard). Frankly, it'd probably improve my driving, as anyone commuting the Dan Ryan would notice (I'm the one with the flame-decorated LeBaron sporting twin Packers flags and a cow-catcher). But then I'm like, hey, you know, my life is already overbooked. Why make it more complicated? And so I asked myself, how can this simplify my life? I thought about all the blood stains and uncool dings on the cow-catcher and then it came to me. I swear to you it was Jesus himself who came down and put the thought into my head. Why is my life complicated? Other drivers, that's why. If it weren't for all you lane-clogging pansies out there driving only 30 MPH over the speed limit listening to Sandy and Steve on Lite FM, I'd have time for things I love in life. Now, a cow-catcher's great for clearing small obstacles from directly in front and igniting the fuel tanks of poorly designed cars (god I miss the Pinto), but I'd never considered the sides. The solution is so simple: mount a pair of 50 caliber machine guns to the LSWD, one facing in each direction. BINGO. No more being trapped in a pocket of Buicks and Astrovans. I can blow clear either lane next to me in one swift motion. The only multitasking is reloading. For anyone else out there considering this, let me warn you, you need to have the presence of mind to lower your window before you let your rage loose. That's been a shattering lesson for me shall we say. And, when the LSWD mounting instructions advise wearing eye protection, believe it. Any of you out there who haven't yet gone deaf on your ipods might wanna consider earplugs too (they have the added benefit of blocking out the annoying sound of police sirens). And to those in Chicagoland who've noticed commute times reported on the radio dropping over the last month....Don't thank me, thank the LSWD.